she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
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