I'd wear matching sweaters with you
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
