you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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