Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
