Its about making memories worth repressing
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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