I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
