You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
