I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
