Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
