Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
