the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
