Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Just cropdusted the office
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
