I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
