turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
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