Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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