if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
