Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
