thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Randomize
