Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize