Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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