weddingsv make me drug and hornr
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
