My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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