wake up i wanna do it froggy style
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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