I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Randomize
