I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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