she peed on how many people?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
