He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
