when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize
