I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
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