Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
