WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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