please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
