She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
In other news, I just burned my penis
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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