I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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