With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
