Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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