I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Randomize
