I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
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