im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
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