R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize