I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
