She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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