I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
They are going to name an STD after you.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
