East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my nap took me to another dimension
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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