i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
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