he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Randomize
