I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
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