It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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