Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Randomize
