I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Randomize