YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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