I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
