The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
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