brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
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