Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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