Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
