Umm I'm too high to move.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
