it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
How's work?
Spinning.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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