question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
I did not marry a roomba.
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