Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
