I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
you would pick up someone in the library
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
