You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
