you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
