You just made me feel so damn special
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
you told grandpa to call you daddy
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Randomize
