He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
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i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
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We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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