when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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